Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When they discover the center of the universe, alot of people will be shocked they`re not in it.
My earthquake kit is just a tuxedo because in case of a disaster, I want to look like the most important person to save.
Wtf? I was always told to treat people the way I want to be treated.. Stupid sexual harassment charges pending.
I drank an energy drink so if anyone needs help packing, pushing your car to a gas station or shaking the leaves off a tree
Make sure your goals are unattainable so you`ll feel a little better about giving up later
I wonder if the psycho hitchhiker ever gets picked up by the psycho driver. Now there`s a movie I`d pay to see.
I`ve never said "in all seriousness" and actually meant it.
If you see someone crying, ask if it`s because of their haircut.
Never piss off a woman on her period...scratch that...Never piss off a woman, period.
On Mondays I like to reply to all my bosses emails with `unsubscribe`
I can cope with voices in my head but the voices outside my head drive me crazy.
Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It`s like having a remote to open the fridge.
At what point will this meal make me happy, Ronald?
I have my hesitations about Paradise City if the first thing you brag about is the color of the grass
Odd Fact: The names of characters in Inception are: Dom, Robert, Eames, Arthur, Mal and Saito. Note the first letters = DREAMS.