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scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
Just seen a sign reading "PAY ATTENTION WHILE WALKING your Facebook status update can wait". While on Facebook on my phone. While walking...
You can pretty much text anything as long as you put a happy face emoticon afterwards. You`re a slut :)
You can’t call them “love handles” if nobody loves you
Any hedge can be a maze if you are drunk enough.
Love is a two way street but you have to be careful because women can’t drive.
I really respect people that don`t drink excessively, gamble, curse, do drugs, spend excessively, act irresponsibly and stay up late. And by "respect" I mean "don`t wanna hang out with"
We are living in a generation where Vampires are sparkly,Werevolves are gay and Witches wear leather pants.
If you still wear a Calculator watch, my guess is you don’t need it to add up all the ladies you get….
I`m surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I`ve dropped and shattered my phone
In fact, yes, l can multitask. I can screw up several things at once.
just want to point out that Cinderella is living proof that shoes can change your life!
When I was a kid...no wait, I still do that.
Just saw two homeless guys hitting each other with a piece of cardboard................PILLOW FIGHT!!!!!!
100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses. The stables have turned.