Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"You know what, we need a huge spoon to take care of this" -Guy who invented shovels
I`m actually a really good driver, when Facebook is down.
It is days like today that I am glad that we all don`t live in a Yellow Submarine. Well at least not in the same one.
I am currently watching the Holy Grail of horror movies. There are 10 minutes left and the black guy is still alive.
Decided to make a life altering decision today.... When I think of it I`ll let you know
I am, have to avoid the leg cramps during sex, years old.
Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.
I`m pretty sure the phrase "Did I say that out loud?" is just a way of adding an exclamation point.
I bet Snowmen think it`s weird that the ground is completely covered in their skin.
I`m Not Single. I am romantically challenged
If you touch your phone in the right places, a pizza will arrive at your door.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice ... it`s cuz you have really nice tits.
I wish there was a reality show where people learned grammar.
She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found `mute` by now.
The 4 stages of a relationship: 1. I like you 2. I love you 3. I hate you 4. Arson