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There is nothing louder than a party across the street that you weren’t invited to.
It has been brought to my attention that those stick figure decals on vehicles are not "kill" scores, but actually suppose to represent members of the family. I will be removing all my decals to avoid any further confusion.
He turned to her, ran his hand up her thigh, across her belly and down her legs. When he turned back to watch TV, she asked "Why stop?" "I found the remote!" he replied.
I’ve been waiting for this moment ever since I got up… goodnight!
Does the sleeve tat go with my male pattern baldness and pot belly? Asking for a friend.
I hide my vodka in orange juice
Tomorrow is Valentines day, a holiday that comes along once a year to remind you that if you don`t have a special someone...I guess your alone.
Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says “trust me, you don’t want to know.”
I have never met a woman without wondering what her box of cookie recipes looks like.
I want to put a bib on a baby that says "This dumbass put my cape on backwards." lol
I copied and pasted your pic of what you ate...and got MORE "likes" than you did. :P
Darn right I’m good in bed. ...I can sleep for days.
Depresso; the feeling you get when you`ve run out of coffee.
No matter how many gross facts you tell me about McDonald’s I’m still gonna eat it.
If you heard twenty minutes of moaning from my bedroom that was just me trying to stand up.