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Setting my coffee maker to `stun`
Just got a message that said "Hey, I tried to call you"...that`s your problem right there....you should have never tried that.
Apparently this Walmart cashier only brushes her favorite teeth.
I should be able to take a sick day if I am sick of the people I work with.
Never give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
If relationship breakups never existed, the music industry would go Bankrupt !
This morning, I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, “Would you please press 1?” So I did. I don’t remember much afterwards.
People go to the bar hoping for two things ... to get hammered or to get nailed.
The best curve on a woman is her smile :) ...Hahahaha lmao! No I`m kidding, it`s her boobs.
A date with Destiny.. Cause strippers need lovin` too.
Studies show than men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. See, it`s a survival thing.
All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening
roses are red,violets are blue,god made me beautiful, what happen to you..
1. Pour milk on floor. 2. Ask which kid did it. 3. Send them to their rooms when they don`t admit it. 4. Enjoy peaceful evening.
I used to be poor. Then I bought a thesaurus, and now I`m impecunious.