Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My coworkers should be less concerned about my job performance and just be happy I remember to wear pants each day.
I hit a new low today and used a cheat code on Wii Fit
I enjoy long walks on the beach and that thing you just did with that banana.
To trick people into thinking I understand things at a museum I stand in front of every painting and silently count to twenty.
the kids next door challenged me to a water fight. I`m just updating my status while the kettle boils
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
The only reason they make yellow starbursts is for when someone asks you if they can have one of your starbursts.
It`s not working. I`ve napped every day this week at work and not a single raise or promotion. Sleeping my way to the top was a stupid idea.
I think I’m allergic to mornings.
If you hear sirens and see some naked dude with jeans on his head running down the street, be sure to throw me a beer.
Do you women realize how silly you all look with your clothes on?
Few people have the balls to admit when they`re wrong. Then again, few people have talking balls.
Every morning I swallow a piece of paper that says "Keep up the good work fellas!!" just in case I die and the doctors have to do an autopsy on me
If ghosts existed, why are they all apparently from the last 100 years or so? Wouldn’t there be evidence of a Neanderthal ghost here and there?
Here is a thought for all you mind readers out there…