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I never make stupid mistakes ... only very clever ones
Why isn’t “cheating” a relationship status on Facebook?
I bet now a lot of doctors are going to be reluctant to respond to “Is there a doctor on the plane?”
Never trust a married guys opinion of who`s hot. It`s like asking a starving guy what food tastes good.
Law enforcement`s cracking down on texting while driving, but there`s no law against standing up and playing saxophone through your sunroof.
I totally understand how batteries feel because I`m never included in things either
cavemen were posting on walls before it was cool
I hear boomerangs are making a comeback.
I`ll be posting telepathically today.. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
So many people are making history right now. but me, I`m deleting history from my browser.
I eat bananas with a fork, so I don`t look gay.
I think I may have just inadvertently accomplished something!!!
If you try to fail but you succeed which have you done?
Sometimes I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
Please help control the pet population, have that special talk with your pet!