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I love tan lines... it`s like God came down and high-lighted all the good parts... ;-)
I try to avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they are in the middle of a race.
What thinks the unthinkable? An itheberg.
I really wish Walmart had a 10 teeth or more line...
Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone.
This is a private status. Please don`t tell anyone about it.
I`m not an asshole, I`m just the only one who has the balls to say what everyone else is thinking.
I wish the media and politicians would stop jumping to delusions.
I always advise people never to give advice.
Of all the lies I`ve told in my life, "Just kidding" is my favorite.
It`s like the people in this restroom don`t even want my help unbuttoning their pants. STOP RUNNING AWAY I JUST WANT TO HELP YOU
you`re about as useless as a red light in grand theft auto
roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems.. you have nice boobs
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have you ever looked at someone and thought, "yeah you definitely have someone locked away in your basement."