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If you live in a custom-built house that doesn’t have a secret room hidden behind a fake bookcase, then seriously what is the point?
Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life, where they realize they’re stupid?
just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream
Facebook Stalker! If you just felt a sudden twinge of guilt then yes I`m talking about you.
Holding up score cards during sex is not acceptable, apparently.
People – the most gentle, loving, kind, sympathetic, peaceful and caring creatures in the world. Especially when they need something from you.
My problem? Smart phones are too smart.
90% of the apps on my phone don’t do anything except send me notices that there’s a new version of itself.
bitches want what they cant have..or thats what I keep telling myself
People are like snowflakes. If you piss on them they go away.
It`s hard to focus on a home workout when your home also contains a refrigerator full of delicious food
My favorite exercise is somewhere between a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
when people fall in love they are called " love birds." when they fight they are called "angry birds."
My body needs a refresh button.
I recently added squats to my workouts by moving the beer into the bottom shelf of the fridge.