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Todays Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.
Take mentos and freeze into ice cubes. Put the ice cubes in your friend’s drink. After five minutes their drink will randomly explode.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you`re ignorant and make bad decisions.
Lucky Charms should be 98% Marshmallows and 2% of that other sh*t.
i hate it when other people hate the person i hate!!!
Babies are so cute because none of them are mine.
The hardest part about having a vivid imagination is finding enough things to climb on to avoid all the frickin’ lava on the floor!
What do bats eat that makes their sh!t our standard for crazy?
I`m pretty sure if you watched a movie of my life backwards it probably would be about a guy who refills beer cans and puts them in the fridge.
My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street.
After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions.
If you don`t like my facebook posts, feel free to delete me and solely visit your friends` pages where the big news of the day is when their grandkids finally took a $hit all by themselves.
Serious question: Are doctors sure erectile dysfunction isn`t just a side effect of being married & bangin the same woman for years & years?
Im convinced that one day we will all live in the future.
The less you know, the more you think you do.