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Ill be in my office giving co-workers the silent treatment ..by sending them blank emails.
If you see me drinking coffee from a to-go cup in public after 3 pm, that coffee is booze in disguise.
Sandals or shoes? I have adorable toes. All 12
I`m never more nervous than when I tell a doctor what I actually eat.
Tomorrow the world shall be ours! Until then, good night my evil minions!!
Got bored today so I dressed up in tan pants and a blue shirt then went into Best Buy and quit.
The human body can survive three weeks without food, three days without water but only three hours without wifi.
Mustaches: 1. Like them or not? 2. Should you refuse to go out on a date with someone just because she has one?
I DON`T HATE YOU,I`M JUST NOT NECESSARILY EXCITED ABOUT YOUR EXISTENCE!
Life is just better when you’re laughing.
I am a brilliant man, I just sometimes can`t remember where I parked my car.
A guide to hating people. Step 1: get to know them.
You’d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.
"Stop, Drop, and Roll" is not JUST an effective fire safety technique, but also a very memorable way of getting out of a boring conversation. :P
New Study: Long-term beer drinking can lead to depression, also known as "running out of beer."