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Didja ever get to know someone so well, that you wish you didn`t know them at all????
Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it.
"I`d hit that!" -Helpful blackjack dealer
The only thing I hate worse than holding a girl`s purse is when it doesn`t match what I`m wearing.
Treasure the years with your children while they are still distracted by bubbles.
Happy Monday!! I`m gonna sit this one out.
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems.
It`s a humbling moment when you realize your dog or cat has actually trained you to do something.
I didn’t say “what?” because I can’t hear you. I was giving you a chance to change what you said.
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn`t make the cut.
I`ve decided!! I’m giving up my New Years resolutions for Lent.
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.
If McDonald´s sold hot dogs, could u, with a straight face, order a McWeiner & tell them 2 super size it?
The sooner one of you ladies takes ‘one for the team’ and becomes my girlfriend, they sooner I leave the REST of you alone!
Just spent like 5 hours talking to my neighbor about his garden and long story short, turns out it was just a f*cking scarecrow.