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Apparently, starting an impromptu game of leap frog with somebody bending over to tie their shoe is considered rude. Church is boring.
I drink to make other people interesting.
Was building a website for women drivers ... Bloody thing kept crashing.
I don`t regret burning bridges. I regret that some people weren`t on those bridges when I burned them.
It takes one slow walking person in the grocery store, to remove the illusion that I`m a nice person.
Home is where the bag filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags filled with plastic bags is.
If one goes to online college, do they have to haze them self?
The perfect time for a snack is while you’re waiting for another snack to finish cooking.
just read a list of "the 100 things to do before you die." I´m pretty surprised "yell for help" wasn´t one of them.
Dear whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office – I will track you down. You have my Word.
You can`t fix stupid, but you can always drink more beer.
Even though I`m a guy I still get nervous when I pee on a pregnancy test.
Listening to the voices in my head, I’ve concluded that they’re having more fun than me.
The five stages of Sunday: depression, anger, bargaining, acceptance, Netflix
Shouldn’t the Air and Space museum be empty?