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when she says "size doesn`t matter" what she really means is "I have been disappointed before." :)
Sometimes I`m completely inconsiderate to other peoples feelings. And other times I`m asleep.
To all the people who think they don`t need deodorant: What in the world would make you think that?
I heard an ex got run down by a bus today. I thought "Wow, that could have been me!" But then, I can`t drive a bus..
Have we considered putting Scooby Doo and the gang on the Malaysian airplane caper?
Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
Imagine all the amazing places you could take naps if you were Superman.
First Rule of Camping: Put up the tent before you start drinking.
B!tches be trippin ... OK, maybe I pushed one.
Some tattoo artists need to just say, "no, I`m not doing this sh!t."
Me and my recliner...we go way back.
Take my advice; I don’t use it anyway.
Remember before you give the finger from the safety of your car, not everyone has a schedule to keep.
Gravity didn`t seem this strong twenty-five years ago.
You seem awesome. I can`t wait to find out what I hate about you.