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More food should come with prizes inside it.
"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat
I hate it when teachers say, “You think it’s funny?” Obviously it is, if it wasn’t I wouldn’t be laughing
I was drivin home tonight and was singin away and seen a tree ahead and swerved to miss it and realized it was my air freshener hangin from my rear view mirror!!!! CLOSE CALL!!!
Ladies, when a creepy guy asks for your # and hands u his phone, text REDCROSS to 90999 so he`ll donate $10 to Disaster Relief.
My body keeps doing these muscle twitches like it wants me to get off this couch and move around. HAHAHAHA. As if.
MAY` contain nudity? Either it does or it doesn`t. DON`T WASTE MY TIME
I just saw a poster that said, "Have you seen this man?" with a number to call ... So I called the number and told them, "no."
Remember all those times I said "wow, that`s cool!"? What I really meant was, "shut the f*ck up, I hate you."
"Hi, I`m here to ruin your life" - Social media
These energy drinks make sitting on the couch so much more exciting.
Apparently, saying “Wow, you’ve grown since I last saw you” isn’t deemed socially acceptable when said to adults.
Do angry people know about naps?
You can not force anyone to love you ... The best you can do is stalk them and hope they give in :)
If your friends don’t make fun of you, they’re not your true friends.