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Helpful Tip: A ceiling fan won`t cut a bagel in half ... Not even on top speed
You just don`t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.
To error is human, to forgive is divine, to keep your damn mouth shut is much appreciated.
Men are like dogs. We`re excited to see you, and we have no idea what you`re mad about.
Grabbing a drink after work is perfectly fine.However, you look like an alcoholic when your getting that drink at 6am.
"Cannot connect to network. Reset your wireless router." "Umm, okay, but what if my router is in my neighbour`s house? Should I call him?"
Seems like 2013 was just yesterday.
Shoutout to this ATM fee for making me buy my own money.
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Online personality tests are pretty self-explanatory… If you’re taking the test, chances are you don`t have one.
The awkward moment when you’re not sure if something is your actual memory or if your brain made it up.
Sometimes, I question my sanity ... Sometimes, it replies
Sometimes you have to photoshop your life. Touch up edges, adjust the tones, blur the background, focus on yourself & crop some people out.
She texted me: "Your adorable.". I replied: "No, you`re adorable." Now she thinks I like her. All I did was point out her typo!
change your birthday on facebook to today, see how many people say happy birthday for APRIL FOOLS!!!! lol