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Let me be clear, I don`t want to die alone. However I want to be left completely alone until that moment
This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job.
I`m really wanting to sit and watch a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?
You can look at some people and instantly know they’re only going to get two awards in life, a birth and a death certificate.
Growing up and becoming an adult was the worst decision I’ve ever made.
Let`s party like there`s no tomorrow and call in sick if there is one.
My girlfriend told me that I’m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman ... What a Joker...
I love this oscillating fan, 5 out of every 15 seconds.
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
"Have you been drinking . sir?" asks the policeman. "Go Pikachu! Thunderbolt!" "Sir, did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
I still remember when everyone wanted their phone to be smaller. Now that we can watch porn on them, everyone wants them bigger.
lifes like a box of chocolates, never know whatcha gonna get (:
You can tell a lot about a person by putting a hidden camera in their bedroom.
When one door closes it`s probably because someone shut it.
Here`s where I draw the line: ___________________________.