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This salad is delicious, probably because it`s a donut.
If you watch Intervention backwards, it`s about a person partying hard after an awful family reunion.
Remember kids, NEVER light fireworks. Let the adults, who have been drinking all day, light them instead!
New kitchen game: `Fridge and Cupboard Tetris`- Putting the possibility of being pummeled by a food avalanche on a whole new level of adventure.
If someone asks me if I need help finding something in a department store I like to slowly describe a gun
I hope the next big trend in music is Talent.
I wish "it`s the thought that counts" worked for housework.
I was an atheist, until I realized I was a sex god.
Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.
Step 1: remove food from packaging Step 2: dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time
I`m so old I remember when water was free and you had to pay for porn.
A homeless guy just asked me for money, and I almost gave it to him, but then I thought... he`s just going to use it for alcohol, and then I thought... That`s what I`m going to use it for.
One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.
I may be wrong, but I doubt it.
SEX! Now that I got your attention. I just wanted to say, "Have a great weekend!"