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I`m gonna start a secret porn industry and call it "The Illuminaughty"
The hardest part about being rejected is that I end up liking them even more as a person for their ability to make great decisions.
Could you guys just scroll a little? I was really funny yesterday.
I quit my job at the helium factory today. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.
Remember, condoms prevent minivans.
If no one comes from the future to stop you, than how bad of a decision can it really be.
Chocolate comes from Cocoa, which is a tree. That makes cocoa a plant….chocolate is a salad.
Okay im going to make myself a sandwich, and i better have some votes when i come back. -.-
It`s so hot I have my air condition set on bankruptcy.
I take so many things with a grain of salt that I`m surprised I don`t have high blood pressure.
I don`t know why people freak out and run when they see a spider. They are just gonna climb in your mouth when you are sleeping anyway.
Yeah I`m married, but get one thing straight,,, I do WHAT I want, WHEN I wanhjkjhgfd,, THIS IS SCOTT`S WIFE, HE HAS TO GO NOW, HE SAYS GOODNIGHT.
This could be the best day ever… but it isn’t. Again.
Sex in the City is the prequel to The Golden Girls, right?
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears