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Turbo tax might just be the worst video game I ever played.
It`s called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I`d of sent a bloody letter
When I was a child, I wanted to be a surgeon. But apparently I was too young
The grass is always greener over the septic tank
You can tell by a woman`s feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
Why do they have “limited edition” scented candles? Are there crazy people collecting these things?
I stay up late every night and realize it was a bad idea every morning.
Agreeing to disagree is lame. Let’s agree to take turns slapping each other until one of us admits we were wrong.
My therapist says I am too preoccupied by vengeance.... We`ll see about that.
I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is.
Redneck WORD OF THE DAY: WATER My girlfriend gets mad and I don`t even know water problem is!
This drag race is not at all what I expected. Are they in dresses inside of the cars, at least?
I`d stop disappointing you, if you stopped expecting me to do stuff.
Yes, I used to "dance like no one is watching"; at least until Google Earth sent me a certificate for ten free lessons.
I can do 50-100 pushups depending on how many weeks you give me.