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All I`m saying is that the cheese grater wouldn`t have 4 sides if they wanted you to wash it after every use.
Grocery stores could save me a lot of time and effort by adding an “All the stuff you can microwave” aisle.
I always carry a lighter in case I end up at an impromptu concert...or need to set someone`s house on fire. Either way, I`m prepared.
You never realize what you have till its gone... Toilet paper is a good example.
Whoever invented self checkout greatly overestimated the general intelligence of the human race.
Women have closets full of `I have nothing to wear.`
Son: am I adopted? Me: not yet, but we`re hopeful.
The "I got your nose" game is fun to play with kids, but try it on the pharmacist at Target & she`ll call security.
I`m not saying Goldilocks was a piece of sh!t, but she broke into someone`s house and just started eating their breakfast.
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together.
Be careful on how tough you are on your kids....Strict parents create sneaky children.
At the Touch of Love..Everyone Becomes a Poet !
But..At the Touch of Breakup Everyone Becomes a Philosopher... ^_^
I have found my sleep number and it is eleven, eleven beers.
Kids these days with their high tech cell phones. They will never get the experience of being stuck in a tree and not knowing if anyone is coming to help. Oh, and could someone come and set my ladder back up so I can get down.
There are two types of people in this world, those with common sense and those who have to pee on the electric fence for themselves