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I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach the cookies.
Thank God I still have 20 days to achieve my goal of "going to the gym in 2013."
Homeless people should make more creative signs like "I bet you can`t hit me with a quarter...b!tch!"
Actually I don`t think it would be all that hard to get out of a pickle.
I need professional help. A chef and a butler will do just fine.
Stop complaining about being single!!, we have bigger problems here. Like why McDonalds don`t serve breakfast after 10:30 -.-
The synonym for `reality` is `offline`
I`m sorry. I know I said hi, but I wasn`t really prepared for any follow-up conversation.
Relationship status: sleeping in my bed diagonally.
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
When my girlfriend texted me "I`m enjoying 5 guys in bed" I was quite surprised to arrive and find no hamburgers
Jail is just the government`s way of sending you to your room.
That sound you hear when you already closed the cupboard & hear something fall -yeah, that’s the sound of someone else’s problem.
Some people are flirting with my delete & block button
The problem with reality is that there’s no background music, so you never really know whether something mysterious, evil or adventurous is about to happen.