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Of all the things I have lost in life I mis my mind the most
Smile at the people who hate you. It makes them wonder what you`re up to. :)
Social media - keeping people away from each other since 2006.
I can`t face my checkbook so I check my Facebook.
If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
I live for two reasons. 1) I was born. 2) I haven`t died yet.
Would stiff nipples be a good name for my air conditioning company?
Some days the problem is I care too much... Today was not one of those days...
Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
I found a spider in my shoes. He looks ridiculous, they`re way too big for him.
If I haven`t offended you, just scroll thru my timeline. It`s in there.
Nobody wished me a happy birthday today, which isn´t surprising really, since it isn´t my birthday.
Facebook - the place where you can whine and get likes for it...
My Facebook movie is already in the dollar bin at Walmart.
My wife looks super hot without glasses. That’s why I stopped wearing them.