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I’ve made some mistakes I wish I could make again.
Relieved to finally get a new microchipped debit card that provides added security to protect the $13.68 in my checking account.
When pornstars get up to speak in front of a large group, do they picture people with their clothes on?
My taste in music ranges from, "You need to listen to this" to "I know, please don`t judge me."
Know the rules well so you can break them effectively.
I used to make fun of my dog for barking at dogs on TV until I caught myself in the car pulling over for a siren on the radio.
You’d think after all these beauty pageants, we would have world peace by now.
Oh, you have a brand new boyfriend? Please tell me more about how you think he`s `the one`.
Just saw a cop that had a U-Haul pulled over on the side of the road. Obviously he was trying to bust a move.
My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don`t exist. He`s vacuuming.
When you`re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.
There are 2 kinds of people I can’t stand: Nosy people, and people who won’t tell me what in the hell is going on.
People often mistake me for being a good listener. The truth is, I really just don`t want to talk.
One day I hope the bravery of the people who initiate clapping is recognized.
I think that some of the people I see in Wal Mart shouldn`t be allowed to leave Wal Mart.