Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Premature ejaculation and hide and seek have one thing in common. 1 2 3 ready or not here I come.
Sometimes you can tell it’s going to be a bad day when someone you don’t like is smiling.
We can`t deny our basic human instincts, like automatically thinking we kind of already know how to play the harmonica whenever we hold one.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony; he stuck a feather in his hat, and called it macaroni… That folks, is what drugs do to you.
You girls are lucky, tampons are changing the end from a string to a bit of tinsel but its only for the Christmas period
Guys: Bet a female friend that she can’t touch her bellybutton with both elbows. Enjoy the view.
Some days there just isn`t enough give-a-damn.
I know I`ve had enough to drink when I have to concentrate to blink.
Slightly used Christmas tree only one month old. Paid $60. Looking for $40. No low ballers. Serious inquiries only. Come on let`s get this thing done.
If anyone tells you, you have ADHD. Pay no attention.
Q: What is the best thing God ever created? A: The vagina. Q: What was the worst thing God ever did? A: Put women in charge of them.
I like calling the Psychic Hotline and asking them what I`m wearing.
I`d totally order a salad bar. If it had lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, ketchup, mustard, hamburger and buns.
No one should be surprised that so many statuses are about unhappiness and failure. You don’t end up on Facebook by making good life decisions.