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I don’t think it’s a coincidence that morning and mourning sound the same.
McDonald’s steps 1) Get really excited about it 2) Eat it 3) Regret eating it 4) Wish you were dead 5) Repeat in a few months
"You know, I wish I`d never gone to the pool that day." ~Marco Polo
Have you ever wondered what a job application at Hooters is like? Maybe they just give you a bra and say, “here, fill this out”.
The worst part of being naked is not having pockets.
No need to thank me for accepting your friend request. We`ll both regret it soon enough.
I`m afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating.
life is short play naked
Is it just me or do mirrors look really sexy?
My love for you is beyond words so don’t expect a Valentine’s Day card from me.
Him: What to play Trivial Pursuit? Her: Sure, But I,m not that smart. Him: What to play strip Trivial Pursuit?
Somewhere the inventor of yoga pants is near death from all the high fives and non-stop free tequila shots he gets.
Hey Lady!, I just deposited $43 dollars in THIS bank.. DON`T FROWN AT ME WHEN I TAKE 3 SUCKERS!
How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
Some of you are like family to me. I don’t want you calling me either.