Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m still kinda pissed that they never did tell us how to get to sesame street
I consider anything that doesn`t fit in the dishwasher to be for one time use.
u smile i smile u laugh i laugh u cry i`ll go get a bat and say who`s gonna get it
don`t kiss the monitor, just ask me nicely..
I`ve probably spent a solid year of my life just staring into the refrigerator
Yes, Facebook says we`re `friends` but, trust me, I wouldn`t hesitate to punch you in the face.
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
Facebook - the place where you can whine and get likes for it...
I dont care how you live your life, so just let me live mine. Yeah whatever.
Rump roast is called rump roast because nobody would eat it if it was called cow`s ass
I’m going to start wearing Summer’s Eve as a cologne. The vast majority of beautiful women seem to be attracted to douches.
Trivia - It turns out that Alexander the Great was not all that great. But in those days, nobody had the guts to call him Alexander the SO-SO
Today I caught myself smiling… I was thinking of you… Don’t flatter yourself though, it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
Putting ketchup on steak should also affect your credit score.
Alright, I give up! I`ve listened to the song like 50 times now, and I still don`t know what the fox is saying!