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Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you`re in.
I love work; it fascinates me. I can sit and watch folks do it for hours.
A wireless bra? They weren`t tricky enough, now I need a password?
My life is a constant battle between my love of food and not wanting to get fat.
Whoa! Thank you warning label! I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
Baby gates are parents` way of saying "this area is locked until you’ve gained more experience."
9 year olds have a Blackberry, an iPad, a laptop, & a Facebook… When I was 9, I felt cool with my new markers.
Sometimes you have to burn a few bridges to keep the crazies from following you.
And today I learned to never ask a woman how she dye`s her roots black.
Chip clips are for quitters.
Onion rings are vegetables. And the Large size counts as two servings.
I feel like grabbing some random kid and screaming "I`m YOU from the future!"
Bill Gates: A billi a billi a billi JayZ: Half billi half billi half billi Lil Wayne: A milli a milli a milli Me: A dollar a dollar a dollar
Sleep is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is police.
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that it doesn`t let you skip.