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life is unfair theres 6 days between monday and sunday but only 1 between sunday and monday
Just seen the new Batman shampoo in Costco. I can`t believe they haven`t paired it up with a conditioner Gordon.
If you`re going take a bathroom picture, at least clean it off. I can`t see anything through all the toothpaste.
Lol at birds that walk places.
Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.
"are you as bored as I am?" if you read that backwards, it still makes sense.
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
Studies show that people with high sex drives also tend to be very forgetful. Did I tell you guys that already?
FACT: 99.7% of guys named "Dan" are not actually "The Man".
I don`t think I can call myself an adult until I can accept the fact that "dry clean only" is not a dare.
why don`t we get discounts for ringing up our own groceries in self checkout?
It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today. And that`s just for the alcohol.
The only thing instant glue sticks to instantly is fingers.
You never truly appreciate Newton’s laws of motion until you’ve sneezed while going to the bathroom.
Losing weight is not working for me, so I`m concentrating on getting taller.