Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I will not be satisfied until I see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
Somehow, we`ve got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
How to get a woman mad in 2 easy steps: 1. Take a picture of her. 2. Don`t show it to her.
Guys, want to find out all of your flaws in under a minute? Just ask your girlfriend if she`s gained weight.
Twerking is just shaking your a$$? Why did we need a new word? A$$-shaking has served us well for centuries.
So.. who else is sleeping naked tonight?
I`m done chasing people who aren`t willing to do the same for me. After today, the ice cream man can go f*ck himself!!
It’s my favorite time of the day: How long can I stare directly at my monitor and do absolutely nothing o’clock.
Nice try, St. Patrick`s Day, but I don`t need a reason to drink.
Just got a fortune cookie with no fortune in it ... Sounds about right for this Monday
Driving to work would be so much better if I didn’t always end up at work.
When life gives you lemons... all you need is tequila (and salt).
I could spend my day outside, but I`m sure there`s plenty of porn that needs to be rated.
If it doesn’t involve food or sleep, I’m probably not interested.
How much tequila goes into mashed potatoes again?