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What`s the lowest IQ someone can have while still being a relatively full functioning adult? My wife wants to know.
You say stalker. I say unpaid private investigator.
List of the most populated places in the world - 1. China 2. India 3. Friend Zone 4. United States 5. Indonesia
Whoever is bringing me the 3 dozen donuts each morning, thank you. But could you just leave them on my desk and not in the break room?
If one of your life goals is to fight with someone about how to load a dishwasher, may I suggest marriage.
Why is it called stealing when your WIFI is trespassing in my house?
The first rule of Women`s fight club is don`t tell anyone what you`re mad about or why you`re fighting.
Seems like we would be just fine with about half as many types of pasta
Sorry, I didn`t get your text...Just kidding, I ignored that sh!t.
I have no time for stupid people But they sure seem to have time for me.
A house is not a home until you can find all light switches in the dark.
Her dad said he`d like to see me make an honest woman out of her. I had to resist the urge to tell him that ship sailed long before me.
If my body is EVER found dead on a designated jogging trail.. Just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there.. :|
1. Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait
Iām dedicating this status update to all the status-less people out there. Stay strong.