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Im at a beer tasting today..so far they all taste the same out of this case...well done Budweiser...well done!!
On the bright side, I`m relieved we live in a society where we acknowledge that the people who make sandwiches are artists.
Cubic Zirconium`s slogan should be: Guys can fake it too!
Anyone that tells you money is the root of all evil is f*cking broke.
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place to have sex.
If Violets were Orange, poetry would be a lot more challenging.
Do you think Santa regrets giving all those bad kids coal now that global warming is threatening his home?
I bet no one in Africa is allergic to gluten.
Never trust a married guys opinion of who’s hot. It’s like asking a starving guy what food tastes good.
Guy- What`s your sign? Me- Stop
The trick is not let anyone know how really weird you are until it’s too late to back out.
Rest area restrooms are weird. The guy in stall next to me has four feet.
I`d totally order a salad bar. If it had lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, ketchup, mustard, hamburger and buns.
Women, we don`t say this enough, but thank you...Thank you for not killing us in our sleep. Sincerely, Men.
Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for 2.