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My nephew asked me what marriage was like. So I gave him a candy bar and told him not to eat it.
My dad said if I don`t get of facebook in 3 seconds he would jab my face into the keyboahajsirksjapquebxm
Stall Cleaning service, Satisfaction guaranteed or 100% or you manure back!
My husband is not allowed to help with math anymore. Apperently 4 = 6.5 in his reality.
#Redskins QB Robert Griffin III back after surgery to reconstruct the ACL and repair the LCL in his right knee. He`s now RG 3.2
Do Starbucks employees take coffee breaks?
Enough with procrastination, it’s time for excuses.
Excuse me but which level of Hell is this?
The ultimate home security system is having shitty stuff.
She asked me to make her feel special so I gave her a helmet and crayons.
Any guy can seem cool on a motorcycle. If you really want to know what kind of man you`ve got, watch him walk through a spider web.
Jodi Arias dating O J Simpson now that would be a hell of a relationship
I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools.
gets drunk on one drink. The trouble is, I can´t remember if it´s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
You`re not the sharpest knife in my back.