Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s getting warm out. I can finally get back to smacking people and blaming it on mosquitos!
10 years from now: “Dad, how did you meet mom? Well, your mom had the hottest profile pic…so I had to friend request that.”
Want the truth? Just ask a kid.
I don`t have mistletoe this year, so we`ll just have to kiss under the influence.
When I drink alcohol.. everyone says I`m an alcoholic. But.. When I drink Fanta.. no one says I`m fantastic.
I work out ... Just kidding, I take naps.
How about first you show me your benefits and THEN I`ll let you know if we can be friends.
I don`t understand fat homeless people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don`t have to be nice anymore.
I`m not saying that I`ve been online too long, I`m just saying that when I close my eyes I scroll through my thoughts
Side boob is only hot on women, bro.
everyone is BEAUTIFUL in there own way--your just to UGLY to see that
Awkward moment when you just wanted a sugar daddy but becomes the First Lady of America!
Do you guys remember 10 years ago, when all the people with gluten allergies were dying in the streets like diseased cattle?
It only takes one person to ruin it for everyone...Be that person.