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As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I am totally fleible.
I hate hanging out with MC Hammer, he never let`s me touch anything.
I wanna be skinny but I also want to have pizza for breakfast lunch and dinner, you feel me?
I`m in hospital after eating what i thought was onions instead they were daffodil bulbs. Its ok doctors say i will be out in spring.
I don´t like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
People keep asking me what my resolutions are, like they can`t see I`m already perfect...
When all else fails… Pizza & Beer.
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
That awkward moment when you realise you have way more internet friends than real friends.
I just encountered a spider bigger than my desire to be the man of the house.
The hardest job in the world must be working in a bubble wrap factory. Can you imagine the self control that is required?
I try not to laugh at my own jokes. But we all know I`m hilarious.
It`s a lot easier to chuck a co-worker in the dumpster than it is to listen to his problems.
Crossfit is the healthiest way to get rid of your friends.
If I’ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.