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We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.
I would like to think that I`ll die heroic death saving someone`s life but it`s more likely I`ll trip over my shoelaces and choke on a spoonful of Nutella.
“Until death do us part” means we’re all single in heaven, right?
Ever gotten that awkward feeling? ..like the one when you realize you`re chewing on a BORROWED pencil?
I either get what I want or I change my mind!
If you really want to impress me with the year a bottle of wine was made, bring me one from 2024....
My wife and I decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty hard.
I have enough leftover Halloween candy to get me to leftover Valentine`s Day candy time.
Pirates that used X to mark the spot were stupid. If they had used a G, nobody would ever have found their treasure.
There`s a word for people like you and that word is "leave."
If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly didn’t think you could read.
Before you have any hope for the future of humanity, come and look at how this guy parked.
A week is just five days of wishing you had nothing to do followed by two days of wishing you had something to do
I was asked what I would give the woman who has everything? Well…my phone number for a start.
Tequila is Spanish for I’m open to waking up anywhere.