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Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".. O_o
You don`t get to complain about life until you move out of your parent`s house.
If you surround yourself with people funny enough to make you laugh till your abs hurt, you’ll never have to work out!
A lot of people do not realize that the actor who played Wilson in Castaway is the same actor from the volleyball scene in Top Gun.
The best way to deal with dumb people is to never leave your house sober
My downstairs neighbor thinks I`m a little creepy and that I overstep my bounds. At least that`s what she wrote in her diary.
There are other things in life besides sex and alcohol. Those other things all suck, but they do exist, I assume.
If looks could kill, mirrors would be the leading cause of death among ugly people
I don`t drink these days. I`m allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.
why do i feel like you are reading this
My “I hate you” face must look a lot like my “I’m loving this conversation” face.
I just changed my relationship status from “left hand” to “right hand”…
Currently training for when they inevitably make drinking an Olympic sport.
Going to Target. See you in about two hundred bucks...
It must suck to be an air conditioner repairman. You spend your day working in buildings that have no air conditioning. When it`s fixed and finally cool, you leave.