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We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
It`s Thanksgiving. Don`t forget to set your scale back 25 lbs
Now that I`m on Facebook, I can finally put that English degree I obtained to some use…
The baby spit up on my Xbox so I had to get rid of it ... I`m gonna miss that baby...
I wonder if Sallys parents were like "Yeah great idea Sally. Sell seashells. On the seashore. Where there are tons of free shells. Idiot."
Sometimes, in life, all you really need is a lot of money.
I`d like to thank (you know who) for the (you know what) I`ll talk to you later (you know where) and if I don`t (you know why).
I need a vacation ... or this fifth of Jack -Me at the liqiour store
Theirye’re, problem solved.
My dream job is a pharmacy cashier & yelling for a price check every time someone checks out anal ointment, condoms, & men buying maxi pads.
If you didn`t want to be hit with a shovel then you never should have started telling me about your problems.
i hate it when other people hate the person i hate!!!
After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast
I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools
I’m off for a quiet beer. Followed by fourteen noisy ones.