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What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on
I`m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out I`ll pop open the red and drink that.
Always love a woman for her personality. They have like ten so you can choose.
Boys will be boys... unless they get a sex change.
I`m so bored at work that I`m actually doing my job.
The only difference between sex and breakfast is sometimes I don`t want breakfast.
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there`s a millionaire walking around that invented the pool noodle.
You can call someone who makes prosthetics a professional body builder
During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.
It`s never going to work out between Mario and the Princess. Most of the time she`s on a whole other level.
Life Insurance: Let me get this right. I pay you until I die, then someone ELSE gets the money?
Our mailman freaked out when he accidentally saw me naked ... So did all the other people at the post office.
Relationships are not a test... So why cheat?
I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds.