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My next relationship will be with someone who thinks "Wine" is a perfectly acceptable answer when he asks what`s for dinner.
Dear therapist, I might actually come see you if your job title didn`t spell out “the rapist” Sincerely, not lying down.
I like surprises. Not the `finger in my a$$ without permission` kind, but flowers are always nice.
Pringles cans should have a twist mechanism like stick deodorant.
How are poor people so good at finding money for tattoos?
Much like a dog, men will pretty much do anything you want if you feed them first.
I really like my new electric toothbrush, even though sometimes, I still break out the acoustic.
Excuse me but which level of Hell is this?
Hillybilly Word Of The Day.."Twerk"..."Welp, I`m done with lunch so I`d better get back twerk!"
That awkward moment when a comment gets more “likes” than your status.
If your dog is fat, you’re not getting enough exercise.
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics. So glad I found y`all.
Question everything...Or should you?
I wonder if New York people find it weird to watch their own city being destroyed in Hollywood movies so many times..!!
Babies dont have parents, they have staff.