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I`m trying to save up enough money to one day afford to save up money.
I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he has it.
My brother took going to jail really badly. He refused food, drinks. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him and started throwing things everywhere. After that we NEVER played monopoly again.
When it comes to bug protection, you just can`t beat "OFF!".
Who needs a social life when you have Netflix and a fridge full of food?
Go through a fast food drive thru. When they repeat your order back to you, say "And can I get that to go?" and enjoy the confused silence.
Sometimes I feel moderately intelligent. Other times I have to sing the "ABCs" in my head to remember which letter comes next.
Swans mate for life...in case you were wondering what made them so mean.
This silly farmers market doesn`t have any locally grown pizza.
Not one back to school special on beer. What kind of world do we live in.
Though we made many advancements in society, sadly, pimpin’ STILL isn’t easy.
I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes.
I just want to be famous enough to have a Wikipedia page full of misinformation about me.
I say the things better left unsaid.
It`s really cold out there folks. If you`re heading to Wal-Mart, please wear two pairs of pajamas.