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Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
I put mirrors on the ceiling because I like to see how I look when I`m eating pizza alone.
I`m trying to be healthy and grow my own food but I can`t find any Twinkie seeds. :/
It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
If only life was as easy as getting fat.
My life is like Monopoly: sometimes I`m the race car, sometimes I`m the iron. But usually I`m a peanut because I`ve lost all the game pieces.
Grandkids are basically puppies for old people.
"You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself." ~5th Amendment, understood by nobody on Facebook.
You`ve got to love yourself ... Just not in public places
Life`s too short for Salad..............
I`ll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go out to buy new ones
Cop cars should play the jaws theme song
If anyone ever steals my identity, I hope they show it a good time. Take it skydiving. We`ve always wanted to go skydiving.
you know hes a keeper when you know his facebook login and password!
A police officer just knocked on my door to tell me my dogs were chasing kids down the road on bikes.. Umm.. My dogs don`t even own bikes?