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Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then.
Life is too short to be kissing the wrong a$$.
I had to leave the bowling alley right in the middle of the game. I didn`t have time to spare.
Fellas; There’s no heterosexual way of taking a selfie.
Health experts recommend a 1500 calorie diet. For those of you not good with math... that’s a 12-pack of 125 calorie beers. You`re welcome!!! ;)
I`ll bet other dogs must think that poodles belong to some weird religious cult.
I`m not saying your opinion is stupid, I`m just saying you`re stupid for having it
Just so I`m sure to make friends, I like to walk in the bar carrying a handful of phone chargers.
My life is a constant cycle of waiting until the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes.
I’m starting to think we as a society may be trying to do too much with the Dorito.
Sometime when I`m home alone I like to fill my bathtub with spaghetti and pretend I`m a meatball.!
Boobs are like the Sun. You can stare at them directly just for a few seconds, but if you put on sunglasses, you can stare as much as you want!
It`s been an exhausting day of pretending I`m a pleasant person.
Don’t get me wrong, you are hot as hell, I am just too lazy to stalk right now.
Better to be incredibly weird than incredibly boring.