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If it walks like a duck and it looks like a duck, the chances are she`s practising for her next selfie
I think that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs.
According to cannibals it only takes one vegetarian to make vegetarian chili.
I should be cleaning and disinfecting the toilet bowl today cause I have a feeling I`ll be hunched over hugging it later tonight.
Just finished my first book yesterday. 450 pages. Man, that was a lot of coloring...
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
Swans mate for life...in case you were wondering what made them so mean.
Don´t be stupid, it´s not smart.
Worried that you may have a stalker? Shut up and just be happy someone likes you.
I was bitten by a mosquito last night. Bet that little bastard is pretty hung-over today
Don`t ya wish you could hold people up to the light like a $20 bill to tell if they`re fake or real?
"Omg. Why does this store have so many naked pictures of me?"... "Sir those are mirrors, and we`re gonna have to ask you to leave."
Last night I was walking the sexiest girl ever home until she turned around and saw me.
The secret of enjoying a good wine: 1) Open the bottle to allow it to breathe. 2) if it does not look like it`s breathing give it mouth-to_mouth
Dear human, you get mad when i wake you up and also get mad when i dont. Sincerely confused, Alarm Clock.