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Hendrix didn`t need to twerk on stage. He performed the old fashioned way, relying only on his musical talents and near lethal doses of LSD.
It`s been a boring day today. Not exactly Nascar boring, but awfully close.
The iPad Air is named after what`s left in your bank account when you buy one.
My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I am suspicious that I am up to something I don`t want myself to know about.
My three biggest fears are mouses, wolfs & proper pluralization.
I love everyone these days... Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others, I`d love to punch in the face...
Social Media Awkwardness: When people "like" a relationship status of being single by your ex instead of yours.
I may have let you down, but it`s your fault for having such high hopes.
In case of fire, do not use the elevator. Use water...
Go to China on honeymoon. Get intimate with Husband. Tell child that they were "Made in China."
I`m combining Easter and April Fools day this year - I`m sending the kids out to look for eggs I haven`t hidden.
I think even hospital gowns cover more than my insurance does...
2011: Come at me bro! 1800`s: Advance towards me brethren!
Cats would be even more stuck up if they knew how much the internet loves them.
Guys be like, "Lets play 21 question." Girl: Ok, what`s your favorite color? Boy: Triangle, so you a virgin?