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Roses are red Your thong is pink Cover that up You`re not as hot as you think.
The older the Facebook post, the creepier your “like” becomes.
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped
My parents would hide fruit roll ups on top of the refrigerator, where I couldn`t reach them. Then leave chemicals right under the sink.
Just once I’d like to learn something the easy way.
Just bought myself a mistletoe belt buckle. Wish me luck.
I’ll drink responsibly when there is a brand of vodka named Responsibly.
"You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself" -- 5th Amendment, understood by nobody on Facebook.
I like my women like I like my motorcycles. Not ridden by all my friends.
How does Ice-T order an Iced Tea without sounding like a douche?
Any time you feel lonely, remember, its your fault nobody likes you.
My therapist just offered me my money back.
I am not sure why a guy getting trapped in a vagina sculpture is big news...men have been trapped by vaginas for many years.
Cocaine dealers are always trying to stick their business in other people`s noses.