Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Workout Journal Day #5: Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.
Science is just a numbery way to explain magic.
Racism, sexism and homophobia make no sense when there are so many perfectly good stupid people to hate.
Drive-Thru Workers: The longer you make me wait in line, the more change will be used for my payment...
Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
Swearing releases stress and that`s just one of the f*cking reasons I do it.
People are making Rapture jokes like there`s no tomorrow.....
Our brain took two billion years to evolve. Two billion trips around the Sun. All so humans can use it to look at kittens on the Internet.
Early reports indicate I`m gonna be drunk all weekend.
Life hack: If you keep your mouth shut, no one will know you`re so stupid
If they made a movie of my life, it would just be a lot of scenes where I`m looking for something to wipe my hands on.
I hate when I wake up in a strange house, & have to go outside to look at a license plate to figure out what state I`m in.
I miss the old days when I could say I wasn`t around and you couldn`t check Facebook or twitter to see if I was lying
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said "too ugly to prostitute."
I don`t like people who hate certain group of people. But I get along very well with people who hate everybody equally.