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Ambulance is spelled backwards on the front so when you look in your rearview mirror you don`t confuse it with the other giant siren cubes.
Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman`s boots...
If at first you don`t succeed ... run them over
I`m pretty sure the phrase "Did I say that out loud?" is just a way of adding an exclamation point.
I now have permanent vision loss due to excessive eye-rolling at stupid idiots.
If you want to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 9am, don`t be open.
I`m just saying a sarcasm font could go a loooong way!
I just heard "Eye of the Tiger" and now I`m motivated to conquer the world. Or at least get out of my pajamas.
Being an adult is 99% wondering how you hurt your back.
Did you ever wonder why the cat was in the bag in the first place?
If they gave out awards for laziness, I would have to send somebody to accept it for me.
Billion dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell "I`m just cooking!"
Putting ketchup on steak should also affect your credit score.
I get my: Cereal from a tiger, Insurance from a gecko, Toilet paper from a bear, Financial advice from a gorilla. It`s people I don`t trust.