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My neighbors listen to some excellent music. Whether they like it or not.
I`m late on the give thanks every day in November thing... so let me catch up. Days 1-22. I`m thankful for boobs
Takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do ...
How can I go to sleep when this movie I’ve seen 70 times just started?
I’m starting to think that some of you are misspelling words on porpoise.
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends` food looked like.
I eat a whole pizza before I go to the gym, because a good workout begins with low self-esteem.
At the urinal, please keep your eyes forward and your conversations limited to weather, sports or beer.
Which one of you is Moderation? I keep getting told we need to drink together.
COCKADOODLEDOOOOOO!!!!
What is this World Cup and can I drink from it?
My ex says that he will dance on my grave. I`ve now arranged to be buried at sea
I went to the store to buy some comdoms and the cashier asked me If I needed a bag ? "I replied No she`s not that ugly"
Congratulation! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air! Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
i havnt seen any status`s about ninjas lately.... well played ninjas