Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"I like tube tops too, but even tires have pressure limits!
There is nothing louder than a party across the street that you weren’t invited to.
I’ll call it a “smart phone” the day I yell, “Where’s my phone?!” and it answers, “I’m here! Under your covers!”
I just want to find someone who will love me for exactly who I am pretending to be.
If one goes to online college, do they have to haze them self?
went to vegas: put a coin in the machine and a prize came out, put another coin and another prize came out...problem is i don`t know what to do with all these empty cans now.
Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they look.
If Tetris has taught me anything it`s that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear.
It`s just adorable how the Liquor Store cashier always wishes me a good week as if I won`t be back tomorrow.
Roses are red, violets are blue, the boss snuck out early, so I left too.
The Teen Choice Awards air last tonight if you want to see a great reminder of why kids aren`t allowed to vote.
You fake your smile daily, then judge people for getting a fake tan.
I hate getting my picture taken. Especially in front of a height chart at the police station.
Just got back from the car dealership and long story short, I`m now the proud owner of a giant circus tent.
The “Slow Children Playing” signs always make me sad. Would it cost that much more to thrown in punctuation?