Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Are you watching too much T.V but not doing enough reading? Turn your subtitles on.
The first order of business for the 115th Congress: blaming everything on the 114th Congress.
You know your fat when you sit in the bath tub and the water in the toilet rises.
iOS 8 let`s you passcode lock specific apps? It`s fun imagining how many break ups that will cause.
The best moments in life are simple… you know like when you sit down and get comfy and the remote is magically next to you.
Coffee is gods way of saying "go ahead get trashed on a weeknight, I`ve got your back"
If I was supposed to share them, they wouldn`t be called nachos.
I found my wife through online dating. So, she`s definitely got some explaining to do!
When you get angry at someone count out loud to ten. When you get to eight, throw a punch. Nobody expects that sh!t.
This by far is your most f*ck up idea ever ... I`ll be there in 10 minutes.
I want my tombstone to say "It didn`t make me stronger."
Hey whiny kids with iPhones: when I was your age, I played with a stick.
Peppermint schnapps might seem like a ridiculous drink, but nobody at work ever complains about my breath.
What if dogs bring the ball back because they think you enjoy throwing it?
Chip clips are for quitters.