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I downloaded this app called "Hide & Go Seek". Ever since then I cant find my damn phone.
I put the pro in inappropriate.
Every time i see a person kneeling over tying their shoe, i run up behind them and hop over them to try and get a game of leapfrog going.
Chess says everything about men & women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
It`s kind of funny how so many people think that being gay is a choice but being fat isn`t
Paint thinner? I call bullsh!t. I been painting myself with it all week and I`m still fat.
Tony Romo tried to throw his helmet down in frustration but it was intercepted and returned for a touchdown
Seagull Manager; Someone who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everyone and then leaves.
Finally realizing that Hotel California is about Facebook. “…you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave…”
Heck, I can tell which people are really judgmental just by looking at them.
I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don`t really understand kites or insults.
When I rule the world, it will be illegal to have an opinion until you`ve proven that you are not an idiot.
You don`t need to use your words if you`re carrying a machete. People just seem to figure it out.
I google myself sometimes just to know what the hell I`m up to. ;)
I`ll be busy tonight taking my girlfriend out to dinner and then having sex all night. Is what I`d be saying if I had money ... or a girlfriend