Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public,...Why don`t you ever smile in my pictures?
Look, all I`m saying is, you never see Nikki Manaj and E.T. in the same place at the same time.
I hear my ex is now into orgies, or at least that`s what the Craigslist ad I just posted on her behalf said.
One would have to assume that Amish chicks carve their own sex toys.
If I suddenly had the ability to teleport, I’d spend an entire day popping up naked in front of people and asking for John Connor.
If you were home alone in the middle of the night, and you heard a fart, would you laugh or be scared.
If I could have dinner with anyone alive or dead I would just have two dinners.
I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It’s true. After going to the gym earlier I’ve decided I’m never going again.
Never look at your beer as half-empty. Look at it as you’re halfway to your next beer.
There`s no way to gracefully remove a jacket while wearing a seatbelt...
I hate when I explain how awesome I am to someone and they pretend to not be impressed.
What idiot called it a driver`s test and not a Game of Cones?
I`d like to thanks all the girls for wearing yoga pants. It is the only reason why we`re not complaining about how cold this winter it
When I go into a bar I shout out "YOU CHEATING WHORE!" Whoever turns around is who I`m buying drinks for.
Jogging with a stroller is great exercise! And hard work for whoever is pushing me.