Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If Facebook was school I swear we would all have perfect attendance.
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right
I have found that the best work from home occupation is a bartender
That weird moment when u just say "what`s up " to someone and they thing you`re a shrink.
In light of recent events, I have no choice but to deduct a full star from my Yelp review of Earth.
If you´re a millionaire and you don´t have trampoline floors or a giant slide that goes from your bed to an olympic sized indoor pool, then you should just give me all of your money because you´re wasting it.
I like my relationships like I like my eggs: over easy.
Not sure what to do with all the daylight we are saving.
Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the morning coffee and went straight for the booze?
Literally saw someone get a tattoo of a camel on their toe.
If you are alone and feeling lonely, fart. Someone always walks in after you fart.
Easy come, easy go describes my last 12 cases of beer and 17 relationships.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
I stop at random Jehovah`s Witness houses and drop off copies of Rolling Stone.
How come they didn`t call this years game the BUD bowl?