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I wish I lived in a glass house, those people seem to have a lot of fun...
The problem with trouble is that it always starts out as fun.
The only thing I understand about Algebra: I look at my X and I wonder Y
I`ve come to terms with the fact that I will never experience leftover pizza.
I`m glad it`s finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is.
A lie is just a great story that someone ruined by telling the truth.
I got passed by a Prius on the Interstate and now I’m legally required to pee sitting down.
If you can’t love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot.
I`m sending a whole bunch of emails to random Nigerians letting them know they`ve won the Canadian lottery.
I will kill you with kindness even if I have to beat the shit out of you.
I have a lot on my plate right now. Not busy, just hungry.
Whew, good thing there`s a facebook petition for ending the shutdown, or else we`d be in real trouble.
I don’t think I get enough credit for doing everything I do while being unmedicated.
People who learned a bunch of stuff must have felt pretty stupid when Wikipedia came out.
Sometimes I think hip hop music gets a bad rap.