Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
To those that manufacture and market tight, thin yoga pants to fit college girls; I love you man.
Step 1 - Change your Wi-Fi password to "blowmefirst." Step 2 - Wait for someone to ask you for it.
Why does the girl in the Wendy`s commercials have Ronald McDonalds hair?
If you really loved your kids, you would teach them to say their alphabet forwards AND backwards. They`ll thank you later.
I would eat a lot more salads if they were made out of pizza.
The iPhone 6 looks pretty cool, but it still lets people leave voicemails, so they apparently haven`t worked out all the bugs yet.
Whenever I give money to the homeless, I get yelled at that "they are just gonna buy booze with it". All I can think is ... Oh like I wasn`t ..
North Korea no!, really, go home! now you are really drunk!
Story of my life : 1. i wake up .... 2. i go to school.... 3. i see a girl .... 4. i run to her and kiss her.... Actually, the right order is 2,3,4,1 ..
I knew we were gonna be friends when you ran into that wall.
If you are offended by the words "In God We Trust" on your money, then send it to me. I don`t mind it at all.
Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I`m the proud owner of aisle 7.
if drinking destroys your memory .... what does drinking do ?
Sure, I`ll show up at your Halloween Party... I`ll be coming as the invisible man....
I keep seeing all these commercial on TV about working out and getting "ripped" in 90 days.. Give me a bottle of Jack Daniels and I`ll get ripped in 15 minutes