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Note to Denver Broncos: Marijuana is NOT a performance enhancing drug!
Lots of us suffer in silence. You should try it.
One would have to assume that Amish chicks carve their own sex toys.
I love asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because I`m still looking for ideas.
Sorry I`m late. I had five cups of coffee and became convinced I could probably bend a fork with my mind, so I had to give it an honest try.
If you loose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
On the bright side, it’s Friday Eve Eve Eve.
If you`re behind someone at an ATM at night, let them know you`re not a threat by gently kissing their neck.
Mornings are the best when they start in the afternoon.
You`ll notice you never see sweatpants with "Classy" written across the butt.
Home: The place where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
I just had a threesome in the shower with Johnson and Johnson.
"Be strong" I whisper to my coffee.
A synonym is a word you use when you can´t spell the word you first thought of.
You`re annoying, but honestly, I`ve been annoyed by better.