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The speed at which I can prepare food during a commercial break is amazing.
I wouldn`t mind being alone with my thoughts, if I didn`t know them all so well.
I don`t know who I feel more sorry for.. myself for never being able to find where I parked my car?.. or the poor bastards following me through the parking lot hoping to take my parking space...
when girls say bye .......... may be it means buy something for her.....
Admit it, you should be doing something else really important right now but your on Facebook again.
I`ve been hitting "remind me later" for about the last 4 years on Adobe.
About to stick a pin in your voodoo doll.... Brace yourself.
If by angry birds you mean flipping off a$$holes while driving then yes I`m at the expert level of Angry Birds
If you insist on sending me pics of your boobs please at least be a female!!
9/10 students agree that someone got lost on the field trip
I`ve come to the sad realization nobody will ever triumphantly pour Gatorade on me for any reason
Adding "and sh!t" at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.
My advise to all the young people out there, "Do not grow up; it`s a trap!!"
The reason swans mate for life is because they don`t talk.
Just bought a car with the money from my swear jar.