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The pill is the second best thing women can put in their mouths to prevent pregnancy.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
If Candy Crush had a face, I`d punch it.
I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey but I turned myself around.
The Manning`s Thanksgiving is going to be awkward this year. "Eli, can you pass the stuffing- oh wait, you better let Peyton do it."
Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends.
You need a high five, in the face, with a chair.
First Rule of Camping: Put up the tent before you start drinking.
One of us spends too much time on Facebook.
I told you a million times do not exaggerate!
I found that 99% of the time, when I`m not listening, just saying "that`s some bullshi*t" makes them happy.
I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. Good times.
Ok Brazil, this would be a time when it`s ok to bite an opponent.
The term "chubby chasers" is so inaccurate and misleading. Cause we don`t run.
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.