Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Apparently you have to go to the gym more than once to get in shape, what the hell.
There`s a difference between having a unique name and a common name that`s spelled wrong.
Best thing about being single… -no drama -no fighting -no crying -no feelings -no confusion -no worries -no PROBLEMS!
I bought a blowup doll today, but I won`t blow her up until tomorrow. I don`t want to seem desperate.
Alcohol goes in, truth comes out.
363 shopping days `til Christmas and some people already have their lights up.
That`s like asking the fat guy to watch the pie.
There’s a bald spot in my yard so I’m gonna let the grass around it grow really long and then do a comb-over.
Stop asking why I’m still single. I don’t ask how you’re still married.
Is "drunk" an emotion? Because if it is, I am feeling SUPER emotional right now...
I’m going to start telling girls that I’m available for a limited time only in hopes that their shopping instinct kicks in.
is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I´m awesome..
I went to open a can of Whoop-Ass but it had a child-proof lid.
I just saw a woman getting into a car the wrong way ... Through the driver’s door.
I like confusing kids by telling them I`m older than the internet