Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Parents, forget about teaching your kids about the birds and the bees. Teach your kids the difference between their, they`re and there.
I just burned 1200 calories ... I forgot the pizza in the oven again.
Science is just a numbery way to explain magic.
Just because you think it`s a bad idea doesn`t mean we won`t have a good time.
Have you guys seen the new documentary about white trash? I only saw the trailer.
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “well that’s not going to happen.”
When life gives you melons, wear a low cut top.
I sure do feel a lot more attractive at Walmart than I do at the gym.
May all of us be as good looking/ beautiful as we look on our FB profile pic..
You should have seen the guy who unlocked the liquor store this morning. It was like he never saw anyone roll up a sleeping bag before.
Him: What to play Trivial Pursuit? Her: Sure, But I,m not that smart. Him: What to play strip Trivial Pursuit?
As I rise from my slumber the children scream in horror, as they did not know I was in the McDonald`s Playland ball pit
Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...... *high 5*
Just called the fire department to tell them that dogs pee on fire hydrants so they should probably all wash their hands.
Throw a stranger a surprise party by putting confetti inside their closed umbrella when they’re not looking!