Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

A wise man once said nothing.
I just took a 5 hour energy and a sleeping pill...LET THE BATTLE BEGIN.
I feel so stupid for cashing in my retirement account early. But then I always feel stupid using the Coinstar machine.
It`s a shame that stupidity can`t be converted into a usable energy source.
If electricity comes from electrons… does that mean that morality comes from morons?
That "No alcohol beyond this point." sign might as well say "I bet you canΒ΄t chug that whole beer!"
How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?
I swear... my remote just decides to take random vacations sometimes.
Drinking coffee is a fun way to become dependent on paying money to wake up.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed. And it was great
yes I have a dirty mind, and yes you are in it...
Kinda makes you wonder how many employees used to piss on their hands in the bathroom before management finally took action
No one has ever been in an empty room.
So I met an Egyptian ... they walk just like us.
You washed your hands? Be honest. Your hands washed each other, and you just watched like a sick freak.