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People who text back... "kk" ... Are so annoying! ....and almost racist
I saw a piece of chewing gum in the urinal today and thought, boy that must have been really painful.
The best things in life are free, but they still screw you on shipping.
When you`re out & your cell battery is low: 1) lower screen brightness 2) turn off WiFi 3) crawl under table 4) weep softly til help arrives
I like to walk through the mall and hand out bags of Cheetos to all the kids I see wearing white clothes
No heel is too high when pointed up at the ceiling.
See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
Momma didn`t raise no fool. I did this all on my own.
Don`t bother trying to figure me out...not even the little voices in my head understand me...it`s pointless.
If you lack motivation, get on treadmill naked in front of mirror.
Hey guy in the car behind me... Honking your horn isn`t going to help me type any faster.
I don`t think we appreciate this era enough. For instance, none of us will see old photos of our moms whoring it up on Instagram.
Wanna have a little fun? Post "Anyone know a good lawyer?" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!
If you catch a homeless couple having sex is it rude to tell them to "get a room"?
I feel that being a smarta$$ is my duty. The pay sucks, but the work is very rewarding.