Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Society has put an unnecessary amount of effort into the advancement of yogurt.
Turning your signal light on once you`ve already changed lanes is just about as useful as offering to help the old lady across the street AFTER she`s already been hit by a school bus full of screaming children. Just sayin`
When I woke up today, I had no plans to be awesome, it just happened.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
Sorry I got drunk and said and did everything I wanted to say and do.
I`m allergic to gluten free diets.
My phone just changed, `calendar` to `cake radar` and now I really wish I had that.
My wife just opened a jar of pickles by herself and I can`t help but think that my days around here are numbered...
Sometimes I like to lie in bed, stare at the ceiling and think what it would be like to stare at other ceilings.
LIKE if you talk to yourself and laugh because you’re just that hilarious.
Have you ever said something and immediately thought “I didn’t know I knew that."
When I go through an automated car wash I close my eyes, because it`s easier to pretend I`m in a car that way.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
I got up this morning and think I saw my shadow. I´m going back to bed for six weeks.
In the interest of improving the workplace, my company has put up signs that say: CAUTION. OPEN DOORS SLOWLY ... My best time so far is 7 min.