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Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
Why is it that people who drink energy drinks seem like the people with the least amount of stuff going on?
It`s not working. I`ve napped every day this week at work and not a single raise or promotion. Sleeping my way to the top was a stupid idea.
The question isn’t who is going to let you; it’s who is going to stop you.
No heel is too high when pointed up at the ceiling.
Don`t talk to me until I`ve had my coffee, my breakfast, lunch, juice, dinner, and at least two glasses of wine.
Life..it`s just an `F` in lie....
Look in the mirror and tell me that God does not have a sense of humor.
Cigarettes have warning labels because they are dangerous and addictive yet vaginas are allowed to just roam around freely.
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the self-checkout section.
I just want to be rich enough to be referred to as eccentric instead of crazy.
Ignoring things don`t make them go away, it makes them drunk dial you.
I feel sorry for men who don’t know how to value women. One look at a woman and I know how much she will cost me.
If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I would never be bored again.
I prefer a slowie not a quickie.