Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don`t think I can keep watching movies
I purposely bought the same grill my neighbor has, so every time it needs to be cleaned, I just switch them at night.
The world would be a much nicer place if everyone took a chill pill. It would be even better if some of them choked on it.
People that say “money doesn’t buy happiness” obviously have never been divorced.
Coaster? You`re assuming I plan to put my drink down...
The Easter Bunny doesn`t always drink, but when he does I bet it`s hopscotch.
When in doubt, take a nap.
The overspray from my windshield washer fluid just totaled a smart car.
Someone`s gotta break it to people under 25 that cameras can also point away from themselves.
I refuse to jump on the `I hate Mondays` bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally
Whoever said you can`t "like" your own status is just not awesome enough to do it.
The most frustrating thing I`ve ever tried to do was throw away a trash can.
So my kid secretly recorded me driving and singing and put it on social media if you needed to know how important birth control is today.
If you cut your child`s sandwich into squares instead of triangles, you suck at parenting...
I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.