Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The worst part about being stoned at work is realizing it`s your day off.
Sometimes all you need is $100,000
Who else has dropped the phone on their face while laying in bed reading Facebook?
Anyone else immediately turn down the car radio the second you think you might be lost?
If men could have multiple orgasms, lotions would cost more than an iPhone.
Men are like cheap dishes - easily broken & completely replaceable!
If you live by the sword, I guess that is pretty cool. I live by some trees and shit.
I like to reply to late night snapchat selfies with "what the f*&% is that behind you?!" just because I know the sender has no way to review the photo and will spend the rest of their night scared out of their minds.
Whenever there’s an awkward silence, try whispering, “Did you forget your line?”
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific
How does one get suspended with full pay and benefits? Asking for a friend who is actually me.
If buying new underwear is evidence of an affair, my husband has been faithful for at least nine years.
When your world is falling apart, when it seems like things can`t get any worse, please remember...I don`t give a s$it.
Practising my breast stroke, so if I ever get a girlfriend I dont do it wrong...
New Game: Attach a mustache to your TV. Drink every time it lines up with someone`s face.