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So, I guess we’re just supposed to assume the number is 1-800-Ghostbusters?
Selfie... Because it`s important to realize that it`s not the photographer who is making you look ugly.
My bank account is more like a countdown to my homelessness
I’m not a biologist but I’m pretty sure the difference between a moth and a butterfly is that a moth is really ugly.
I got a lot more sleep back when phones were only used for calling people.
When I was your age, we drank water straight out of the sink.
My dog acts like her entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
a walk in the woods helps me to relax and release tension the fact that I`m dragging a body behind me should be irrelevant.
The Roomba vacuum cleaner just beat me to a piece of popcorn I dropped on the floor & this is how the war against the machines begins.
I plan on leaving all my money to the campaign against illiteracy. ...They can`t read this right? lol
If you were dating an FBI agent and you broke up, they would be your fed ex.
If banks were as fiercely regulated as McDonalds breakfast cut off time, there’d be no problems.
If two wrongs don`t make a right, try three.
You seem awesome. I can`t wait to find out what I hate about you.
One thing the porn industry has taught me is that this summer I defiantly need to get a job as a poolboy.