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Vodka is just amazing water.
There`s no b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, or z in team either.
I just don’t want to look back and think “I could’ve eaten that.”
Be honest, you haven’t even walked a mile in your own shoes.
Give a man a fish and chances are you won`t be asked to be in charge of buying a gift "from all of us" anymore.
What do you get when you cross a pitbull with a computer? I don`t really know but when it megabytes, it megahertz
OMG, you guys, there`s a button on this stove that says "Stop Time". Should I press it??
If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that doesn`t let you skip.
Boobs are like the Sun. You can stare at them directly just for a few seconds, but if you put on sunglasses, you can stare as much as you want!
I finally got some medication for my Attention Deficit Disorder. Now if I could just remember the name of it and where I left it at.
Easy come, easy go describes my last 12 cases of beer and 17 relationships.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
When one door closes another one opens. Or you could just re-open the closed door. Because that’s how doors work.
Do you think people will start blaming auto correct for there marriages breaking down?