Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnapping?
"It`s the little things in life that make you laugh," my mom used to say. I never understood it until I saw two midgets fighting at Walmart.
My house isn’t dirty, I just have everything on display.
Anyone that says I`m a lover not a fighter has clearly never been in a relationship over 6 months
If no one comes from the future to stop you, than how bad of a decision can it really be.
What`s the nutritional value of an entire tube of cherry Chapstick? Asking for my two year old.
I believe in helping the homeless. That`s why every year I buy a new refrigerator and throw away the box.
My ex warned me that I would never find a girl like her again....THANK GOD!
You make me wanna be a better stalker. No, seriously. Slow the f*ck down.
A mosquito landed on my balls... Hardest decision of my life.
I bet giraffes don`t even know what farts smell like.
It´s not that I hate you, it´s just.. well I´ll put it this way.. if you were on fire & I had water, I´d drink it.
When I was growing up, I was taught to walk and talk and when I was grown, I was told to sit down and STFU!!!
Just picked the remote up off the floor with my feet while lying on the couch, so I guess today was leg day...
Honk if you want to see my finger.