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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Jack Frost go away, come again another day. I need some sun, I need some sand, I need an island & a band. I`m bored with you & tired of the cold, so go away your getting old. Bring on the sun at one hundred degrees, some coconut oil & pina coladas please
I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.
One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
I would watch tennis more often if they replaced the ball boys with untrained golden retrievers.
To make a long story short quit right in the middle.
If you don’t want to marry me, why did you sit next to me on this bus?
I`m all for change as long as it doesn`t directly affect my routine.
If you died and went to he!l, how long will it take you to realise that you aren`t still at work?
If you could see what goes on inside my head, you would have nightmares for weeks!
When girls flash its called, "girls gone wild" when men flash its call ... "America`s most wanted"
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service.
Tonight I`m playing hard to get off the sofa.
I saw a bug crawling on my arm and my reaction can only be described as "grabbing for swirling dollars inside a Plexiglas Cash Cube."
I love food, napping on the couch, and getting super excited about car rides, I`m basically a golden retriever.
I hate it when I meow at cats and they don`t meow back. Unbelievably rude