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According to Tetley the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag so i slap her arse and shout "cup ot tea fatty"
Iām in a long distance relationship. Sure, some people refer to it as a restraining order, but still.
Immature is a word boring people use to describe fun people.
What Meatloaf wouldn`t do for love I would probably do for a six pack.
Sorry I was staring at your nachos while you were talking about your painful divorce
This by far is your most f*ck up idea ever ... I`ll be there in 10 minutes.
All the advantages right-handed people have are cancelled out when we have to do our banking at the drive-up ATM left-handed.
Timehop... reminding us that the stupid people we know today were just as stupid 5 years ago.
I wish computer companies would design a keyboard with a removable crumb tray, kinda like my toaster.
You`d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.
You dont know sh!t about pressure until you`re the only Black person on the dance floor while white people clap & form a circle around you
Just when I think I`m over my insomnia the car behind me honks.
We used to be afraid people on the internet would find us in real life. Now we`re terrified people in real life will find us on the internet
This movie has "adult content"? So, they`re gonna complain about back pains and setting up a 401k?