Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
Sorry I called the police when I saw you running, I didn`t know you did that for fun.
My dentist just told me I need a crown..... I know, right??
I only seem to remember I want to lose weight after eating 6 cookies.
If you hear sirens and see some naked dude with jeans on his head running down the street, be sure to throw me a beer.
I`ve never had a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me.
If you don`t leave a buffet looking like someone told you bad news you didn`t get your money`s worth.
More funny statuses will be posted here soon
I`m so broke right now if anybody robbed me they`d just be practicing
If you are going to write in the dust on my car, please dont date it
Is everything expensive or am I simply poor?
The bouncer from my local nightclub calls me Macaulay Culkin because I always go home alone.
thinks it would be great if we really burped bubbles when we were drunk .. just like in cartoons.
COLLEGE STUDENTS: if you`re looking for a job, your career center lists thousands of openings you don`t have enough experience for.
These ‘energy saving` light-bulbs are bullsh!t. They take just as much effort to screw in as the ordinary ones.