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Have you heard about the new movie called constipation? It hasn`t come out yet.
So a year ago today I asked a really beautiful friend out on a date and today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times.
Two Best Advices For Safe Life : 1. Always Speak The Truth, No Matter How Bitter Harsh It Is ... 2. Run Immediately After Saying It..
Do you ever get that feeling that you are being watched? Because if it is bothering you, I can stop.
I put a pair of boots in the bathroom stall at work so nobody else will use the stall that I like to use.
I wonder what my dog has named me?
Who`s this "moderation" people keep telling me to drink with?
My lack of dusting will finally pay off on Halloween.
I hear boomerangs are making a comeback.
If anyone ever steals my identity, I hope they show it a good time. Take it skydiving. We`ve always wanted to go skydiving.
I like to go to the bathroom with the door open, because it keeps other people from getting onto the elevator with me.
Join us in calling for a total ban of people. They are extremely dangerous. If you know any people, report them at once to the authorities.
Campers: Nature`s way of feeding mosquitoes.
People says nothing is imposible.. But i do nothing everyday!!
My favorite exercise is somewhere between a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.