Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

*wants to travel the world but has like 3 dollars*
Sorry I called the police when I saw you running, I didn`t know you did that for fun.
My dentist just told me I need a crown..... I know, right??
I only seem to remember I want to lose weight after eating 6 cookies.
If you hear sirens and see some naked dude with jeans on his head running down the street, be sure to throw me a beer.
I`ve never had a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me.
If you don`t leave a buffet looking like someone told you bad news you didn`t get your money`s worth.
More funny statuses will be posted here soon
I`m so broke right now if anybody robbed me they`d just be practicing
If you are going to write in the dust on my car, please dont date it
Is everything expensive or am I simply poor?
The bouncer from my local nightclub calls me Macaulay Culkin because I always go home alone.
thinks it would be great if we really burped bubbles when we were drunk .. just like in cartoons.
COLLEGE STUDENTS: if you`re looking for a job, your career center lists thousands of openings you don`t have enough experience for.
These β€˜energy saving` light-bulbs are bullsh!t. They take just as much effort to screw in as the ordinary ones.