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I don`t ever know where I`m at till I`m there
I hear Internet Explorer 10 is going to allow you to download and install Firefox up to three times faster.
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k ... I don`t think I can run that far
Never seen anyone jogging and smiling, so that’s all I need to know about that.
Every cigarette you smoke takes 5 minutes off your student loan debt.
I`m concerned my kids will end up in therapy because I didn`t tell everyone on FB how much I love them.
I`m getting so many spam emails. “Grow Your Hair Back”…”Lose weight now” …”Enlarge your manhood”… Wait… these are from my wife.
How much time has to pass before grave robbing is considered archaeology?
Whenever I watch the TV show Friends, I imagine I`m the seventh friend, Dirk, who just stays home while all his friends do stuff without him.
People that are organized are just too lazy to look for things.
Walmart needs observation decks.
A model citizen is just like a regular citizen that doesn`t eat.
People that do stuff- what’s your secret?
Self checkout must have been invented by a guy who had to buy tampons.
Sorry I hung up on you, I didn`t mean to answer the call.