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Whenever I’m bored I stop a stranger and ask “where am I?” and whatever they say I runaway screaming “Hahaha I’m a genius! I can teleport!”
Relax,,, We`re all crazy.. It`s not a competition.
You can`t make everyone happy, so today I think you should focus on me.
I think stupid people were put on this planet to test my anger management skills.
So far I’ve spent most of 2016 flipping off the weather channel.
I don`t speak Spanish, but I`m pretty sure "Dora" means "annoying"
If people rode their spouses like they did their brakes the divorce rate would drop drastically.
Ever talk to someone so stupid you can hear them misspelling words?
I don`t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.
I don`t understand why people want a relationship when there`s pizza.
With all the botched executions lately, it has been suggested that we bring back the guillotine. But if we do that I`m sure heads will roll.
I’m not the kind of person you ever put on speaker phone.
I will vote for Donald Trump just to hear him tell Obama he`s fired!!
So apparently I`ve been Googling `Asian Prom` this whole time. I watched like seven videos before I realized they weren`t going to bang.
Just bought a car with the money from my swear jar.