Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonaldβs stops serving breakfast.
Everytime I see βROFLββ¦ I think of Scooby Doo trying to say βwaffleβ.
Happiness is the journey, not the destination, and when you reach your destination, ie; bottom of a beer, you must embark on a new journey, ie; get another beer........
Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year, and then discover once a year is way too often.
I stay a bit overweight because it wouldn`t be fair to all the skinny people if I were this attractive, intelligent, funny and thin. It`s a public service really.
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
My wife went home to visit her mother today. Or as I refer to it. Her βbitch refresher courseβ.
Unless otherwise stated, I have no idea what Iβm talking about.
Why Am I Sober? - A Horror Story
You had me at "do we need to stop at the liquor store on the way to your place"
99 Days Facebook Free? Big deal! In 1999 I went a whole year without Facebook.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they "boldly go where no one has gone before" they always end up meeting someone?
Without coffee, Iβm just a really tall 2 year old.
If I was antisocial I wouldn`t have just ordered a pizza over the phone.
Probably a good thing I`m not a ghost cause I`d just stay in the kitchen and scare people then eat all their food.