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I’m not a marketing expert. But if I was selling milk, the cartons would be boob shaped.
Apparently there`s enough room in my mouth to put more than one foot.
Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony; he stuck a feather in his hat, and called it macaroni… That folks, is what drugs do to you.
If your man is reluctant to talk about his feelings, it’s probably because you haven’t told him what they are yet.
If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to grow up, I could probably afford a whole arsenal of Super Soakers.
Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration and 2% attention to detail.
Seems like I can`t go anywhere in my house without somebody recognizing me.
For the record, you`ll need a turntable needle.
Worried that you may have a stalker? Shut up and just be happy someone likes you.
I have a pornographic memory... Go ahead and get naked, I`ll remember you.
If you`re going to be original, be prepared to be copied.
Hmmmmm,,,, Turns out all this time, I’ve been using a life couch instead of a life coach.
Is it weird that I`m 43 years old and have a secret handshake with 3 adults.....and my dog?
Just when you think someone couldn`t be any more annoying I test your theory.
According to my current parking spot I`m a physician.