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The pill is the second best thing women can put in their mouths to prevent pregnancy.
Life would be so much better if throughout the day we encountered randomly placed Piñatas
I don`t exactly have a "to do" list. I have what you might call "If I ever log off Facebook and feel like getting around to doing it" list.
Here`s how I gained 27lbs of muscle in 5 weeks: Lying.
Have you ever noticed the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
I think I`m approaching my "best if used by" date
What`s the nutritional value of an entire tube of cherry Chapstick? Asking for my two year old.
I`ve robbed banks before...and they`re never getting their pens back.
There`s nothing sadder then the look on my dogs face after he hears something hit the floor and discovers it`s only lettuce :(
I don`t have dirty mind ...I just hav a sexy imagination. ..
They don`t even serve apples at Applebee`s. Or bees.
Drink coffee! ... Do stupid things faster with more energy.
WebMD auto dialed an ambulance when I entered my chicken nugget intake.
We are hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can’t come, let me know.
Most friends with benefits have such high deductibles that you`ll always be paying way too much out of pocket.