Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have this condition that prevents me from going on a diet. I get hungry.
A Lion would never cheat on his wife.. but a Tiger wood.
Marriage teaches you a lot about yourself. For instance, I`ve learned that I don`t need to use so many paper towels, and they`re expensive.
Is it a firm rule that you have to be an addict to check into rehab? Because that one in Malibu looks pretty nice.
It hurts when you go to unfriend someone and you find they`ve beat you to it!
When I arrive at work, how long can I spend screaming in my car before it becomes weird?
The police never think its as funny as I do.
Improve your day by ordering coffee in the voice you use for your pets
Sorry for nicking your car with my door, but you didn`t leave much room. It`s small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
Based on commercials, every single car has won car of the year.
Being gay is fine. Being lesbian is fine. Being straight is fine. But do you know what’s not fine? Wearing crocs. That is NOT okay
This might be the worst online counseling site ever.
Some people are just pure evil...I should know because I`m one of them.
I don`t want to brag, but I`m single-handedly responsible for 86% of the rules in the Employee Handbook at work.
Backseat drivers are the worst. They`re always like "the light is red!" and "don`t text and drive!" and "oh god, I think that was a person!"