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I read an actual newspaper today! For those of you who don`t understand, a newspaper is like the Internet but made of paper.
if money grew of trees, girls would be dating monkeys
Although the voices aren`t real, they have some pretty good ideas.
I use awkward numerical range description anywhere between 13 and 4 times a day.
Wow, I just melted a piece of ice by staring at it. Took a little longer than I thought it would.
To the person who stole my antidepressants..I hope you`re happy now!!!
Arguing over a girl`s bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Coors or Budweiser -- Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.
You know you`re all grown up when you actually pick up the ice cube instead of kick it under the fridge.
The bad news is I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. The good news is I no longer give a crap.
I wonder if the earth teases other planets for having no life.
"Woo, I`m on a roll today, baby!" -butter
Why Couldn`t Snoop Dogg & Dr.Dre Get On The Bus ... Because They Forgot 50 Cent
If there`s a "Mr." in front of your cat`s name you`re going to die alone.
I need to find a woman that loves me for my money....but doesn`t understand math. (<>..,<>)
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.