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word of the day: nincomtard
When I say β€œthe other day” I could mean yesterday or 5 years ago there’s no in between.
The adult version of Operation is trying not to break a tortilla chip while dipping it into a jar of salsa.
It is totAlly unnecessary to put a PM after 23:00.
Some dude was bragging about his brother being a navy seal and it`s like...I don`t care what colour he is, why is your brother a seal
Dear facebook, please quit asking me what`s on my mind. Eventually I`m going to get in trouble if I keep telling you.
Watching MTV Cribs makes me feel better about downloading music off the internet.
If you can’t be a good example, then you’l just have to serve as a horrible warning
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
It`s not my fault you thought I was normal.
All a girl wants is a guy that can make her laugh ... and not just when he drops his pants.
My coworkers are looking at me like they`ve never seen anyone tailgate before work.
The problem with some people is that they’re alive.
My mind is telling me nooo... But my body... My body`s telling me yesss...BABY. Cashier: Sir...would you like fries with that or not?
I`d say go to hell, but I don`t want to see you again.