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It must be hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest. I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
I wish common sense was more common.
I think there are great benefits in remaining strangers.
To clear a pop-up ad online, I was just forced to agree that "I don`t care about being healthy and smelling clean."
Social networking sites is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves
I wonder how many 5 Hour Energy`s it would take to levitate?
If running late counted as exercise I would be the healthiest motherf*cker you ever saw
Two can play that game...` -people who dont understand that`s how games usually work
Nice try, Henry Winkler, but I’m not inclined to take mortgage advice from a guy who lived above the Cunningham’s garage for like ten years.
Hey Pringles, it`s time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn`t exactly thin-wristed.
When I said I like it rough I was talking about the sex, not the whole entire relationship...
A few more months without getting laid and I should be eligible for employment at Gamestop.
Bicyclists, it`s one thing to hog the road, but it`s quite another to expect us to know your fancy hand signals. Also, I can see your balls.
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
Never trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.