Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"We have smaller, secret pants that we wear under our normal pants..." - me explaining underwear to aliens.
Sorry but if these walls could talk I`m pretty sure they`d talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you`re blowing out of proportion.
People assume when I yawn that I’ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
The problem is I have just enough money to get into trouble but not enough to make bail.
I grew up in a town where the population never changed… Every time a girl got pregnant, a guy left town
You guys, how can true love still exist if we don`t have mixed tapes anymore?
Each day is a gift, but some days are socks and underwear
Trust me, when they make a pill that REALLY makes your d!ck grow, that commercial will be on during the Super Bowl, not 3am!
People are making Rapture jokes like there`s no tomorrow.....
The dollar store needs to go ahead and open up a few gas stations.
I wish that some of my coworkers were not allowed in the break room because those are the people I need a break from.
My box of Animal Crackers said, "WARNING: Do Not Eat if Seal is Broken." I open the box, and sure enough...
You win some, you lose some...unless you`re me, then you win them all.
I could scroll down my Facebook page and write a country song!!
Shout out to the single lady I saw buying a bunch of Duracell batteries on Valentine`s Day.