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Facebook is like Chinese food. When you think you had enough, you want more.
Never trust anyone who says “Im not supposed to tell anyone but”
Boss: "Thanks for the coffee. You know what`d go well with this?" Me: "The antidote?" Boss: "No, a donu...Wait, what?" Me: "Nothing"
Momma left strict instructions to knock you out.
This salad tastes like I`m about done with my New Year`s Resolution.
whoo hoo...I have new gutters. Please try and keep your mind out of them.
Neighbor said hi again. I`m just gonna move
Walmart: Because where else in the world can you pay $50 to have your oil changed by someone with a GED, find a sized 46H bra, or run the risk of being filmed live on location with the men and women of law enforcement on your way out the door.
ready for bed - gunna give my sheets some arse and my pillows head;]
I think I will stick to my old fashioned pepper shaker. This new pepper spray tastes terrible on my potatoes...
I successfully cleared a path from the front door to the TV. Now I can watch Hoarders.
She calls it cuddling. I call it strategic body placement for the war of the covers that is about to take place.
Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done.
just want to point out that Cinderella is living proof that shoes can change your life!
Starting a sentence with “If you ask me” almost always indicates that no one asked you.