Daily Silly Status

I may not have the best parenting skills; but, in my defense, my kids don`t have the best childing skills, either.

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say, “Close Enough.”

I missed that one episode of The Walking Dead where they show us how the zombies keep everyone`s lawns so freshly mowed.

To all my Facebook friends. Have a happy St. Patrick`s day, and all the festivities this weekend. Stay safe, enjoy life, and if you by chance happen to find a bartender who is bad at math...give me a call :)

Apparently slim chance and fat chance have the same meaning.

I don`t know what I would do without you, but I bet it`s awesome.

It`s a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.

Arguing politics is like trying to convince someone that their baby isn`t cute.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man

I’m a pervert, but in a romantic way.

I try to avoid trouble but I think it likes me.

There`s been a whole lot of office Romance since I became self employed...

Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."

Dr. Oz says having 1/2 hour of sex is equivalent to running 6 miles. I guess I`m going to the gym today.

I just did a weeks worth of cardio after I walked into a spider`s web.